Living Large While Being Dead
There are many reasons that somewhere along the line you might decide to build a mausoleum. Determining why you want the mausoleum will guide you in how to build it. Now, for the record, we bears don’t really care which way you bury yourselves; but dang if you humans don’t get very nitpicky about it. You have more words for the places you bury yourselves than we have names for food. Well, okay, we only have four words for food; fish, berries, bugs, and other stuff. It never seemed that important for us to create a different name for all the rest. But, humans have lots of ways to bury themselves. For our purposes, there are only four that really matter; fish, berries, bugs… no wait, we got distracted… graves, mausoleums, crypts, and tombs. For this area, the last three are the ones in play. If you want to know more about graves, go visit the Tombstones 101 link. We’re going to assume you’re human, because bears would have gone off long ago looking for fish. Here are the human definitions you need to know: A mausoleum is a building that houses dead people, usually bunches of them from the same family. It’s like an apartment complex for skeletons. From what we know of humans, it’s the only time family members can stay under the same roof without getting into fights. Crypts are often underground, sometimes in larger buildings like old churches or mausoleums. They’re basically the individual burying chambers for the deceased. This means there’s a bit of definition conflict between the word mausoleum, the outside of the building, and crypt, the stuff inside the building. Tombs, like crypts are usually underground, but not all of them. Sometimes only a lid portion is above the ground. Other times the whole container holding the dead person is above ground. When they’re above ground they often look like a sarcophagus. See what we mean? In order to tell you the three most common things you might build as a haunter, we have to introduce an entirely new set of definitions about the way you bury yourselves. Humans are crazy. Now that you know the three types of corpse quarters, let’s explore how to use them. Mausoleum facades, basically just the front of a mausoleum, are great at hiding areas you don’t want people to see. Our humans use mausoleum facades to hide the stairway to the house. They also hide the fact that we live in a great big green box without a bit of haunted house character to it. Other humans cover up garage doors or portions of their yard where they don’t want you wandering. Some folks have even used mausoleum facades like a folding screen to block unwanted views or to hide video and lighting effects. Some mausoleums and crypts serve to house ghosts or other creatures. These mausoleums and crypts aren’t simply panels, but actual buildings created to protect props. They come in all types, varieties, and reasons for being. Folks often house crank ghosts and video presentations inside a crypt to up the fear factor. It hides lighting and screens, but it also protects the valuable props from the elements. Foggers, a longtime staple for haunted graveyards, can be housed inside a sarcophagus tomb. In our cemetery, each mausoleum not only hides the stairwell, but it also houses a prop of one kind or another. Our cauldron creep lives under the porch and inside the largest mausoleum we have. Above him is the porch where we usually put the rocking chair skeleton. For more about both of those fine gentlemen and all their neighbors, head on over to the Outside Props tab and click your way into skeleton Nirvana. Our mausoleum, the Haunted Bears, has the beast in the basement trying to get out. The prop motors and eye effects are actually located under the stairwell. Stairs make a pretty good roof. Still, this is Oregon, and pretty good isn’t good enough. So, there’s a bit of extra waterproofing protection as part of the prop. As we make additional mausoleums, we will post a picture of them on this page. For more detailed explanations of how we make them, click on the images that interest you. The links provide more pictures, explanations, and even a few videos to help you out.
Humans can be confusing. You call some buildings like the photo above “underground mausoleums”, because part of the building is belowground. But you also call the same buildings “lawn crypts” because part of the building is aboveground. Humans complicate everything. Bears have dirt. We drop dead on the dirt and let others decide how to deal with us. Generally, they eat us.
This is one of your first mausoleums. You’d think you’d call it a stone mausoleum, but you call it a pyramid. Do you even wonder why we think you’re crazy? You have so many names for the same thing. We don’t even use words. Bears just grunt and growl and we get the message across. We’re like the Sylvester Stallones of the animal kingdom. Yeah, there’s another name you can call us along with the dozens of names you already have for bears.
Our humans were kind enough to create a “sarcophagus mausoleum” for us. There are no windows or doors; just chambers to put the bodies in, and then seal them off. Our bodies aren’t really inside the mausoleum of course, but it’s the thought that counts.
The cauldron creep lives just a few doors down from us. As with our mausoleum, his is a work in progress. But he seems happy with the progress so far. We always see him puttering around in what we assume is his kitchen. His cauldron smells awful, so we assume something yummy is inside.
Tombs often look like the gravediggers got lazy and didn’t bury the whole coffin underground. Some haunters see them as the perfect way to add motion to their graveyard. The lids to the tombs move back and forth. What’s underneath trying to get out is supposed to be a mystery. We always know what’s inside, because we’re bears; which means we always pry the lid back looking for food.
Copyright © 2017 - Haunted Bears Artwork and Graphics © 2017 For complete information on © copyrights contact us at Haunted Bears. All Rights Reserved. No real bears were harmed in the making of this website.